The Chase

"Do not awaken love till it so desires", I was told

How am I to refuse its entrance when the ground itself breathes in and out a love sonnet?

Proclaiming, shouting, the wail of love lost

Be green, be lush He commands. For I love and am Love

Be still, fall into the depths. You will find Me there too

Back and forth, to and fro, side to side, again, again

I fell.

Brokenness used to shatter, until I was told in brokenness love is found

May I express my brokenness? May I?

I run, I am running to multiply, to die, to break, to keep my spirit from its awakening

The change of color, the flush of tide, the sand to hide my feet

My desire, my God, my refusal, my search, my Beloved.

black gum

I decided to chase a squirrel en route to class, then realized one of my sorority sisters was watching me.
I discovered black gum. Yes, black. What a peculiar concept.
I let go and trusted that as for God, His way is perfect.
Like the crazy college child I am, I drove to the beach with my closest friends and slept under the stars while the ocean roared.
I stared into the wrinkled eyes of men and women who can't remember their last name or if they were married. In these eyes, I saw myself. They once danced, and laughed and loved deeply, and studied. To dust they are returning.
I pulled weeds, mulched beds, raked leaves.
I let go and trusted that as for God, His way is perfect.
I saw the stars as I never have, listened to the croak croaking of the summer frogs.
I refused affection.
I wrote a letter to my deepest friend.
I held a baby to my chest and prayed over its journey to dust.
I wondered if Adam and Eve are in heaven.
I let go and trusted that as for God, His way is perfect.
I stood and watched as a man proclaimed the truth of Jesus Christ to my dark campus. I prayed over an Atheist. I listened to one of my sisters tell us that she apologized to this same Atheist, and his heart was softened.
My Mom said I was neat.

If you're reading this, you have purpose. Do you see that? It may not be triumphant and glorious like Joan of Arc, Michael Jackson, or Edward Cullen, but it's undeniable.

Follow this:
No man is greater than another in God's eyes.
So why would God make one man's purpose greater than another's?

Glorify Him! Listen for Him in laughter, and the birds singing, and in the movement of your body. All life and existence flows from His goodness and I Am-ness. He IS.

I love you. Yes, you.
love.chloe.

eggs, lots of eggs.

Which is the most important event in the history of man? Christ's birth, His death, or Ressurection?
Just something to ponder.
I'm trying to keep my sense of smallness and depravity from escaping me.
He is great, when I am small.